After not going to the gym for a week because of being sick, I actually miss it. This week has left me with plenty of thinking time. As I continue on my journey to healthy town, I'm constantly reminded of all those other adventures I've gone on in the past. You know....wait for it....wait for it....plug your ears, I'm going to say it.....you have been forewarned....DIETS, *Gasp* Yes, Yes I know, we shouldn't say that word anymore, and we shall be politically correct in saying "lifestyle change" However, many of those adventures weren't for changing my lifestyle, they were for fitting into a pair of shorts for the summer so I wouldn't have to buy a new bigger size. One of my memorable excursions takes me back to about 2002. *queue flashback music*
I was at work one day talking with coworkers, and of course the topic of discussion was weight loss. One of my coworkers came prancing along , super excited, grinning ear to ear. Intrigued by her overzealous demeanor, we of course asked her what was going on. She proceeded to explain to us how she had discovered the holy grail of diets, and how this was going to be the next best thing since sliced bread. Of course she now had our attention even more so. What was this be all end all weight loss miracle solution? *drum roll* It was cabbage soup! Me, being the naive, early 20's, single, sized 18W female, I was like...."Sign me up!" She told us that all you have to do is eat cabbage soup, bananas, and drink water for a week and you will lose 10 lbs. I thought "This sounds legit". I mean really, how brilliant is this?!?! I just have to eat soup, with cabbage in it, bananas, and water for 7 days, and I lose 10 lbs, this is a no brainer. Off to the grocery store I went! I left work, immediately went to the grocery store, got all the ingredients I needed, came home and proceeded to cook. However, that night I did not start this diet because all veteran dieters know the cardinal rules...1) you only start diets on Mondays (however I started this one on a Tuesday), and 2) you need to have your last meal prior to the diet's commencement. (usually consistent of the remainder of the tub of Ben and Jerry's, the last of the cookie crumbs in the pantry, and preferably something cheese covered)
I put my pot on the stove, chopped up the ingredients of cabbage, onion, tomato, cabbage, cabbage, salt, pepper, cabbage, and cabbage. Boiled the crap out of the soup and got all of my containers ready for the week. Woke up the next morning ready to rock and roll and lose some rolls in the process. Ate my banana, went to work, had some cabbage soup, had some more cabbage soup, then I proceeded for my snack of a banana. Came home for dinner and had what you ask? Cabbage soup! Day 1 was in the bag and I felt awesome. Woke up the next morning and got on the scale to find that I had gained weight!!! What?!?!?!? Are you kidding me?!?!?! It has to be water weight is what I told myself. I moved on and began day 2. Had a banana, went to work, cabbage soup, cabbage soup, banana, cabbage soup, rinse and repeat. I did this for 7 days straight! Every day was the same exact story, I would wake up, weigh myself and proceed to curse at the scale for not moving or for going up. By the 7th day, I wanted to burn every cabbage patch in the universe and never look at another cabbage leaf again. Are you wondering what my weight loss was by day 7??? Well I will tell you this......no Christmas miracles were had. Total score: Cabbage 10 Me 0. I easily consumed 10 lbs of cabbage in a week only to remain the same weight I was when I started. I was furious, I was livid, I ended my Cabbage soup diet right then and there and got a pizza.
While not all bad came out of my cabbage soup experience. I did have some fabulous takeaways from this nifty experiment. For example, did you know that cabbage has indigestible sugars that when eaten in large quantities can cause you to have a bloated/gassy abdomen? Also, it's chock full of fiber. I had the cleanest intestines on this side of the milky way thanks to the cabbage. Last but not least, too much of anything isn't a good thing. When all was said and done, I didn't lose any weight eating the cabbage soup. Ironically, shortly after this stint, I ended up visiting family outside of the country, got a horrendous case of E.Coli from the water, dropped 20 lbs in 2 weeks. I now joke that whenever family is going outside of the country, when they ask me what I want them to bring me back, I tell them a teaspoon of water.